So Sad Today: Personal Essays

I was a fan of Melissa Broder's poetry (her book "Scarecrone" made me good-miserable for days) before I knew she was behind the So Sad Today twitter account. She has the sort of terrifying power of being able to take the intangible emotional stuff and put it into words without overworking it to the point that it becomes solely about her. Instead, it allows you to connect and feel with her. That's also been the best thing about the twitter account, and why everyone I know follows it. So Sad Today (the book) evokes Melissa's previous work but does so with more humor and, you know, has more words. Having her fill in the gaps a little makes it easier to digest quickly so you can feel "all the feels" right away. So Sad Today's voice is friendly and very current, it's like, how you and your friends talk IRL, and that makes it feel real and personal. It's like your friend confessing a dark feeling they thought only they had and then you both realize you feel the same thing but didn't know you could talk about it. Not to say that everything in this book is super relatable. In one essay, Melissa explains a very specific fetish and how it developed. It's not something I could relate to exactly, but the way she tells the story and expounds on it is so funny that it doesn't feel at all disturbed. Well, a little less disturbed, I guess. While the essays are rooted in sadness and anxiety and feeling alone, the result is something that ends up connecting all (many?) of us in a positive and helpful way. It's not a "self-help" book, but it might help a little.

It's hard to understate how meaningful this book is to me. I was apparently the last person to know about the @sosadtoday Twitter account, only doing so once the book started to get press. It came out at a time when I was deeply struggling with my own depression and had no idea what to do about it. These essays are stark and raw and honest and gut-wrenching, in the best way possible. I appreciated how Broder went to those vulnerable places without sparing herself or the reader. She delves deep into her social anxiety, how her husband's illness has affected her, feeling needy, and other topics without wallowing in her despair, but simply exploring it in a way that I found eminently relatable. I also was so glad that she wasn't trying to "fix" herself, or, by extension, readers experiencing similar issues. That's not to say that she revels in depression or anxiety, but she meets it head on, without flinching. I've started carrying this book around with me when I travel as something to look to, not necessarily for guidance, but for solace. Even though more celebrities are openly talking about depression and mental health, we rarely get the chance to see such unfiltered looks at what it's actually like to think those thoughts, to embody them on a daily basis, and Broder does that. Often in memoirs there's a hallelujah moment where the narrator realizes how to heal themselves and their life changes grandly. Spoiler alert: that doesn't happen in So Sad Today, even though there are moments of peace and calm amidst the mental chaos; it is not a bleak book, in my opinion. But what it does offer is something more complex; Broder details how she deals with her brain and her thoughts and how it plays out in real-life interactions with people. It's certainly not always pretty, but life isn't, and while I have no idea if it will have the same effect on other readers, I can say that for me, it helped me immensely at a time when I had trouble articulating what was wrong with me to anyone in my life, nor would I have wanted to.

I envied Melissa Broder her courage in telling us so much about herself, her thinking, her life. She's cruelly honest -- I admire that -- and she's got a way of making the saddest mistakes that we all make oh-so-funny. Witness: A love story -- that chapter had me laughing to the point of tears. I'd give this book a 5 if I finished it feeling like I knew her. But I did not feel she totally opened up about issues that I care about. For instance, her debacle with Effexor: what? She was on benzos for quite some time. So, how'd she get off them and did she even miss them once gone? Short-take: tell us more about what effects your audience and less about those rarities that don't. I learned things I didn't need to know and I felt a bit robbed that you shorted me on the events of your story that might help the rest of us. But hey, you're so damn funny and unorthodox that I love you anyway. I just wish I'd gotten to know you better so I'd know how Ron Jeremy made out, for instance. Mostly I love you for laughing at the horror of life and letting us in on the joke. Made me feel comforted -- less alone. Keep going!

I've never felt more validated and less alone than I did after reading this. Every article and every review in favor of this book all say the exact same thing - "I can't believe someone else feels how I do" and "I guess I'm not the only one." So this review is the exact same as every other review, but I don't care. Melissa Broder has done something great here. One time my friend said, "I think maybe people like art they find familiar? They want to return to one of a few feelings they already know." And to me, that's what this book is. It's what's already in my head and my heart. And knowing that SO MANY other people hold this work in the same regard makes me feel a little less alone. Don't get me wrong - i'm still very much alone and in those moments I can't stop thinking that I'm the only one who has ever had these thoughts in the history of forever. But in the back of my head, this book and the subsequent coming-together of folks in support of it let me know that the world is full of minds similar to mine. I love to scribble in the margins of books to make them feel more like my own, but I don't think I'll do that with this book. It already feels like it's been done, in Broder's own words. Since Broder will likely never see this and this review is more for everyone else coming to see what the book is all about, leave their own review, or find people whose hearts match their own - this book has your back. This book will be both the slow ballad that you listen to when you need to cry AND the power anthem you rock out to when you're ready to open the curtains and look at the world again.

Melissa Broder has struggled with anxiety for the entirety of her life. In 2012, she opened the Twitter account @sosadtoday, which allowed her to anonymously express her angst. Surprisingly (to her, not to me), this Twitter account grew in popularity, and soon she had thousands of followers who looked to her as the voice of their feelings. Because Broder discovered that she was not alone with her emotions, she penned So Sad Today, in which she honestly and openly wrote of her lifelong struggles with mental illness -- namely her grapples with depression, anxiety, and addiction. Using these mental debilitations as the undercurrent for each of her essays, Broder discusses their impact on her life as she winds her way through issues that are largely universal - sex, death and love. I first heard of this book when I was reading Meg's review of it on her blog. She wrote that she liked these essays because they opened a dialogue around mental illness -- and this appealed to me. I'm an anxious person, and since I love reading of others' experiences with anxiety, I decided to give it a read. The first bunch of essays I didn't relate to at all -- they were sexually explicit to the point of being porn, and covered a brand of addiction, sadness, and low self-esteem that I have (thankfully) never experienced. Still, as I read them, I applauded Broder's openness. Writing is a form of therapy, and she didn't hold back. Throughout the majority of her essays, Broder employed a self-deprecating humor. She discussed her issues in a way that was honest, but also sarcastic, poking fun at herself and her feelings throughout. Self-deprecating humor is often utilized as a defense mechanism by those who struggle from mental illness. Unable to control their negative thoughts, but feeling ridiculous for having such thoughts in the first place, they often try to navigate this fine-line with the attitude "Whoa, I feel terrible, but look at this comically absurd action I took to make myself feel better. Whatta dope I am. I'm not okay, but yes I am." Others then laugh, and think "Oh, you goofball. You may feel sad sometimes, but you also must be okay, because look at that sense of humor." Broder did this, and I laughed. Her essays were funny - sometimes hilariously so, but the comical element did not shield me from the fact that Broder truly floundered. In fact, in one of her essays (I'm unable to remember which), Broder actually discussed her use of humor to cover her larger distress. Toward the end of the book though, Broder dropped the self-deprecating humor she had been using throughout, and just wrote. Her final three essays were emotionally raw, not steeped in hilarity, and felt extremely relatable (probably to all who have emotions). Keep Your Friends Close But Your Anxiety Closer was particularly poignant as it highlighted the societal stigma behind mental illness. Broder wrote of society's implication that those who struggle with anxiety and depression should understand that "it's all in their heads" and "should just be more positive." Broder noted how these sentiments impede those suffering in their attempts to heal. With all we know about mental illness today, I feel stunned that there are still many who think this way. If you don't grapple with any form of anxiety, depression, or further mental illness - be glad. It's not "made up in the heads" of those who are struggling. Why would anyone choose to feel sad, or panicked? They wouldn't. We roll our eyes when people try to discuss their depression or feelings, we tell people who are suffering that they're "crazy" and that they should "get over it" or "just take a yoga class or something," and then feel enraged when someone with a mental illness snaps and commits a crime. We roll our eyes and say "Well, why didn't he/she just get help?!" Our own feelings towards mental illness lack cohesiveness. We're guilty of perpetuating a society that is hostile to those who do not put forth a shining, happy image. Mental illness has always been here, it just seems worse today than it did before, because the disorders now have names, symptoms, and treatments. The essays were enjoyable, but more than I liked the essays themselves, I appreciated Broder's candor, and willingness to create a forum in which those who struggle with mental issues can find support, and in which those who do not struggle with mental issues can learn and understand.

i am absolutely in love with the personal essays presented in this book. i’m so amazed at how deep and profound broder went with sharing things that are so private and intimate. broder, which is @sosadtoday on twitter, has been by far one of my favorite twitter accounts for as long as i can remember, so reading a book she wrote felt like a honour that i’ve been waiting forever for and something very much needed. it’s a quick read but i devoured this book inside and out, reading it over and over again multiple times because i couldn’t get enough of it. the essays portraying broder’s depression are perfect and dark, yet the author’s humor brings a warm light to what would be a rather raw and just incredibly f***ing REAL book. i’ve never come across another book or author that describes experiencing these mental illnesses so perfectly and poetically. it’s a breath of fresh air and humongous sigh of relief. finally, someone understands me. and finally, i am not alone.

I've always been afraid to see a counselor/therapist bc of the negative stigma that surrounds mental health treatment. This book helped me laugh, cry, and feel confident enough to reach out and get a counseling appointment scheduled. Melissa Broder probably helped save my life. I'm thankful that she was bold enough to put her personal life out there. Very few people make me feel comfortable, and through her writing, she is one of those people. I followed sosadtoday on Twitter, but seriously thought it was a 17 yo girl, and I felt kind of like an idiot for relating to it so much. Finding out that she's really a successful adult let me know I'm not the only one! Her writing style is conversational and relaxed. It's an easy read and well written.

This book was somehow able to describe the way my brain works, when I thought there was nothing and no one capable of understanding. After reading this you will feel like you know Broder inside and out, but for me that was mostly because I saw myself in each and every one of her essays (well except that one essay). This book will make you laugh out loud, because it is so ridiculously blunt but also so unbelievably real. Reading it feels like you’re having a conversation where someone finally gets it. The most notable element of this book for me was the comfort I felt knowing that there are others with this level of self awareness, and that Broder’s writing is just one representation of the experiences of all those who support her and relate to her. If you’re struggling, in almost any form, this book may give you a clearer understanding of yourself.

At times a bit unnecessarily graphic, altogether a lovely read.

Very good

I loved this book of essays. I related to this book in so many ways. I saw myself in some essays and people I know. It's a brilliant read. Melissa Broder is one of my favorite authors today.

funny and truthful in a deep level. love this book

Partially depressive but a wonderful book with relatable anecdotes for 20-somethings. It is gripping, easy to read and it leaves you wanting for more. A must read for the followers of @sosadtoday on Twitter!